Hello and welcome back if you're a returning reader if your new thanks for reading!
So I left off on a rant about pregnant women and how scary they can be. Bottom line boys is to kiss their ass as much as you can even though it probably wont be enough a good part of the time. The good thing is that after everything is said and done your woman will go back to normal (well kinda, now you have a baby which will bring in a whole ton more of crazy female antics into your life). Once their hormones get normal I should say, they will appreciate how good you were to them while they were pregnant.
On a side note: I'm realizing that this blog may or may not at some point get me killed. So in advance to things I might say in future posts, baby I'm sorry please don't kill me in my sleep while I'm snoring and keeping you awake. Love you!
Anyways pregnancy was overall a great time for us. To make a long story short our son was born on June 17 after 7 days in the hospital, he was 6 weeks premature and also had a condition called hydrocephalus. He had to stay in the hospital for a couple months and had 4 brain surgeries. The three of us made it through the ordeal and everything is completely normal now (haha what family is actually normal? We are far from it).
Starting out as a new parent is a very scary period in your life. For me I had no idea how to deal with it and it took a couple months to fully transform into a dad. I was talking to a guy at work the other day who has a new baby boy at home. He was going on about how tired he was and giving advice to the other guys "Oh man let me tell you, don't have kids until your ready". This guy is 21, 7 years younger than me and he thinks he's got it rough already? Let me tell you brother... It hasn't even started yet. First of all your kid can't even move himself around, you don't like changing diapers? Here's a couple scenario situations that all parents have had the pleasure of enjoying that you'll also get to enjoy...
Baby pooping so much that it goes out the diaper and all over them. One day my fiance woke me up out of bed to help her get our son out of his clothes. In my tired state I couldn't understand why she would need my help for this. Then she told me he was covered in poop and couldn't get his clothes off without getting poop all over his head and face. My thoughts? Simple, grab the scissors and cut the damn clothes off. I can't remember what happened but I think she said no.
Next!
Trying to change a diaper when your child has figured out how to get away from you: This is a serious problem for me considering if you leave the baby naked for too long it's likely they will pee all over the place, including on themselves and with boys they get distance. I get in trouble for this a lot my friends. I try and change him, he gets difficult trying to get away I turn my head to get a diaper and when I turn around he's in a puddle of his own urine. Now mommy thinks that daddy just lets this happen which is not true at all, daddy is just to slow and gives up easy. Sometimes I turn around and the stream is already going, maybe I'm mesmerized by it but at that point it's too late. Other times it happens and I don't know until I feel wetness in the general area. Either way I get in trouble and I blame the baby, he's evil and knows what he's doing.
So to my brand new father friends I say good luck and it only gets better/worse/interesting/fun as time goes on. To make my coworker feel better about all the tiredness and sleepless nights I told him "Don't worry man it's only something like 3 maybe 4 more years until your baby might sleep through the night. Of course then he'll be able to talk back and run away from you, so you'll have to catch him to put him to bed.".
So it sounds like we as parents are screwed but that smiling little face you get makes it all worth it. Until next time folks take care and don't get in the way of the stream!
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